I'd tell you a UDP joke…

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

"Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."

"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."

"I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

I was asked in an interview to explain the difference between TCP and UDP.

I knew about enough to fill an index card: enough for an adequate interview answer, but not enough that I would relish getting follow-up questions.

While deciding what to say I started with this joke. The interviewer laughed and moved on to the next question. I got the job offer.

Or alternatively:

> I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.

I can tell you a DNS joke, but be aware that it might take 8 hours for everyone to get it.

This was out of order.

An SQL Query walks into a bar and sees two table....he says "Mind if I join you?"

packets udp bar walk a into

I used this during a "geeky jokes" icebreaker at work. No one got the joke so I just sounded condescending. Lesson learned.

In the same vein, here are some goodies:

- Jon Skeet facts: https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/9134/jon-skeet-fact...

- Chuck Norris facts: http://www.betterprogramming.com/chuck-norris-programming-fa...

Here is an ICMP joke,

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Thank you

This looks like a tumblr site, which means you can get all the content on one page instead of having to page through them one at a time:

https://www.codepuns.com/archive

You can't guarantee delivery of any message. This is the basis of the 2 generals problem.

I'd share my joke about HTTP here, but it makes me feel insecure.

There are two kinds of people when it comes to UDP.

IP UDP we all P for TCP

What did one broke programmer say to the other?

"Hey, buddy, can you paradigm?"

There was list of such jokes for 40+ protocols, past and present, but I cannot find it anymore, only small part on different blogs and forums :(

I think I prefer the punchline “I don’t expect you to get it, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t, happens to everyone”

Put a cork in it.

Did I get it ?

Ulster says NO! :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulster_Democratic_Party

https://youtu.be/M1sCNdfMMZA?t=19

ght get it liYou mike this though

"get not you might it but"