The Enterprise Experience

churchofturing.github.io

507 points by Improvement 4 days ago


BrenBarn - 4 days ago

Always worth keeping in mind Remy's Law of Enterprise Software (https://thedailywtf.com/articles/graceful-depredations): if a piece of software is in any way described as being “enterprise”, it’s a piece of garbage.

Joking aside, I was intrigued by the list of good things at the end of the post. Some I could understand, but some seemed to fall into that strange category of things that people say are good but really seem only to lead to more of the things they say are bad. In this list we have:

> There are actual opportunities for career development.

Does "career development" just mean "more money"? If so, why not just say "there are opportunities to make more money"? If not, what is "career development" that is not just becoming more deeply buried in an organization with the various dysfunctions described in the rest of the post?

> It's satisfying to write software used by millions of people.

Is it still satisfying if that software is bad, or harms many of those people?

codingdave - 3 days ago

> At this point I hadn't realised that finding who is responsible for something in a large organisation is very much not straightforward.

This resonated strongly with me. Last time I worked in an Enterprise shop, I happened to inherit the approval system - every app in the entire org, whether an internal app or from a vendor, got configured into this home-grown monstrosity of an access approval system. It actually worked well despite being made of spaghetti, but one side effect of being the tech owner was that I knew exactly who was in charge of every system in the organization. At some point I realized that my success there was at least partially due to being the human who knew how to connect all the dots, because when someone needed such info, the answer for the entire org was, "Ask Dave."

3eb7988a1663 - 4 days ago

Missing

- new leadership will push out the old guard and replace them with friends

- groups get renamed for the Nth time in N years. People continue to do the same job, but now the department has an additional "Innovation", "Discovery", or "Leadership" inserted into the title

GuB-42 - 3 days ago

About urgency, there is a simple way to tell what is really urgent and what is "urgent".

If your boss tells you it is urgent, it is probably not.

If people working in the field call you directly, now you have a real emergency.

The reason is simple. If it comes from your boss, it probably went up the ladder, showed up in red in some report made to the top management who then got all worked up, started shouting orders that got down the corporate ladder until it hit you. In reality, it may have taken weeks between the time the problem happened and the time it came back to you. It can wait until you finish your current task.

People stuck on the field are not going to wait that long, they want a solution now and if they can't do it by themselves, they will focus all of their energy into finding people who can and contact them directly, instead of just writing a memo to whoever wants to read it.

Simon_O_Rourke - 3 days ago

> If the selection function for senior leadership is tuned to a certain personality type, you're doomed to repeat your mistakes.

Amen, Amen... Preach brother!

All this rings true, from the complete org dysfunction, to the security theatre, all of it paints the hellscape of large enterprises in great detail.

My own personal struggles in this corner world resonate strongly here. I worked in a large energy company, with layers upon layers of incompetence and waste.

Including paying a consulting company a small fortune to build a data warehouse that was so locked down that they had to pay them more and regularly, to access the data it contained.

Security theatre where bozos would open your desk drawer if it was unlocked and confiscate your paper notes and books unless you crawled back to the apologizing.

keyshapegeo99 - 4 days ago

This almost entirely applies to any public sector organisation, too - except for:

Remove the comment about ever having to work a weekend

Remove the comment about there being opportunities for (technical) career development

Remove the comment about upskilling / training being encouraged

bentinata - 4 days ago

Very fun and interesting article. I'm currently working in enterprise for around 3 years. I sure am growing technically, but I feel like I learn more about people, communications and bureaucracy here. That comment about budget and mouse is also on track, but with financial stability that working in $ENTERPRISE brings, I can just buy the mouse myself. Maybe some empire will question me regarding the unauthorized mouse, but I can just... ignore... um, talk myself out of the fake urgencies of mouse authorization.

jongjong - 3 days ago

This article is highly relatable. IMO, everything is done better in startup land except one single thing; enterprise people are willing to concede that everything is complex. This is the one piece of wisdom that enterprise people understand (and often abuse to maximize their billable hours).

Startup people tend to neglect complexity and repeatedly underestimate the harm which comes as a result of 'cutting corners'. The hilarious thing is that once in a millennia, a hot startup like Facebook comes along and grows at such an incredible rate, that they can basically get away with cutting all corners... Proving the exception, not the rule; most startups who try this same approach invariably go out of business because it turns out that technical debt is actually very expensive; not every company can afford throwing hundreds of highly paid engineers at the problem of refactoring a code base over and over... Not every startup can afford to rewrite an entire PHP engine from scratch to achieve a modest speedup.

But the thing which is funny about this is that a startup like Facebook/Meta attracts so much attention that everyone is clamoring for their advice... Literally, everyone wants to take advice about reality from a company whose experience of reality is unlike that of any other company which has ever existed or will ever exist in the foreseeable future... I do believe that the average entrepreneur has more to learn about startups and software development from a bum on the streets of San Francisco than from a tech exec.

gherkinnn - 4 days ago

I can't handle such organisations. I simply cannot. I don't care if they pay 3x, they break me within a few months.

rf15 - 3 days ago

> As paradoxically as it sounds, aside from the rounds of redundancies the job security feels quite good.

As paradoxically as it sounds, aside from the rounds of russian roulette my health feels quite good. ... what?

Should you really just accept that and still claim job security?

Is this what stockholm syndrome feels like?

jcims - 4 days ago

I've only really worked for $ENTERPRISE and for just a single reference point the last two places I worked spent >$10M/month on their AWS bills. Most of the points in the article ring true to my experience. I will say that reading comments on HN/X/Reddit/etc it sometimes feels a bit lonely in that even though I know I work with tens of thousands of technologists, I rarely see the unique challenges in getting things done represented in even the slightest way.

mcdrake - 4 days ago

I'm in a similar environment and found this article painfully accurate. I keep thinking my job is to solve problems and ship software...but those are clearly not the revealed preferences* of my org.

The author went from small companies to a big one. Has anyone gone the other way? I'm looking to make that shift and I'm curious how others framed their Enterprise™ experience in a way that resonates with smaller teams.

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revealed_preference

stroebs - 3 days ago

Pretty accurate having worked for startups and $ENTERPRISE alike.

I recently switched from startup to $ENTERPRISE and the thing I’m struggling with the most is time zones. My manager is 11 hours ahead and infrastructure/security change approvers are 6 hours behind.

Now add the big shift back to on-premises infrastructure and it’ll be impossible to get anything done.

solatic - 4 days ago

> Then I heard word there are other empires. Some were run by tyrannical rulers with strange idiosyncrasies. I began to hear strange whispers, like the next empire over doesn't write any tests, and their only quality assurance process was an entire off-shore team manually clicking through the application. Or that an empire in a distant land has pyramids of software that touch the sky, crafted by thousands of people over decades.

Other empires besides the British (with plantations of manual QA) and the Egyptians (pyramids): the Mongols (ride in out of nowhere to bombard you with requirements and have ridden away before you figured out whether you actually need to deal with them or not), the Spanish (who insist that El Dorado isn't a fictious utopia of a project with full test coverage, full CI/CD, perfect monitoring, but will add every linter and bit of friction they can find to try to get there), the Japanese (who go to floors and campuses across the oceans to commit career suicide by yelling at random stakeholders that they have displeased The Emperor), the Chinese (their floors are always quiet, good luck finding your way through the Forbidden City of Zoom meetings without a map)...

Gazoche - 3 days ago

I'm in a similar situation, having left a startup a year ago to work at $BIGCORP, naively thinking it would benefit my résumé. This is all painfully accurate.

The other thing about working for $BIGCORP is that it molds your skills to be hyper-specific to this company. It's less about learning to use cool technology stacks, than it is about learning the internal tools, procedures, and unspoken etiquette of the company. Skills that are vital to navigate the everyday complexity of $BIGCORP, but that you can't really export to any other job.

Spooky23 - 4 days ago

Bigger enterprises only care about consistency in delivering what they want to deliver. The actual goals may be set by chasing a number, regulatory process, executive fiat or a million other things.

Rationality as we humans see it doesn’t apply.

ripped_britches - 3 days ago

Also missing: - vendor review takes 18 months - adding a new product with an existing vendor triggers a totally new vendor review for unknown reasons - you get promoted by building complexity that should never need to exist

Great read, would love to hear more from you

johanneskanybal - 3 days ago

Fun read, from a Swedish background "Uncertainty is weakness" seems so very American though and the opposite of both how we operate and what TheRightWay (tm) should be. As a senior dev working as a consultant for the past 8 years coming in and questioning how things work and recognizing what's unknown or doesn't make sense on a daily/weekly basis sometimes feels like my biggest contribution to the team and usually starts many interesting and productive sessions.

PokerFacowaty - 2 days ago

> In these situations a good manager is what makes the difference; some will fold to the pressure in the hopes that being a "team player" will get them brownie points from leadership (it wont), and some will stick up for their team out of decency and hoping it will get them brownie points from their colleagues (it will).

One of the dimensions I judge my managers on is the "I screwed up, what now?" factor. A good manager will be the shield between me and the higher-ups and will meet with me to discuss the issue to understand it better. A bad one will tell me everyone including them is angry at me. So far I've been lucky to mostly have seen the former.

time0ut - 4 days ago

It hurt to read this. I have seen all of this and more.

  - Teams that produce negative output for years with no consequence
  - Six figure monthly AWS bills on unused resources
  - Technical people who can't use a computer
  - Constant re-orgs and turn over
Wait until this guy experiences the wrath of big consultants...

It is hell, but it pays. I get my fulfillment building my own things outside of work and dream of the day I can escape.

johnhamlin - 4 days ago

Been at $ENTERPRISE for 18 months. This is true it hurts.

silcoon - 4 days ago

Thanks for sharing. A lot of insight about office politics and the importance/role of the management

jeffrallen - 3 days ago

I once worked for an $ENTERPRISE which made, among other things, office telephones. Like the real physical ones, with buttons. I also found the problem with no one knows what X is or who owns it.

My solution was to just PICK UP THE PHONE and talk to the last person who had a commit in the version control system on that thing. Which worked fine until I tried calling an engineer in Elbownia, when I realized that part of what made offshoring so profitable was that this company, who made phones (and softphones) didn't even give phones to people outside of North America and Europe.

lacoolj - 3 days ago

> Maybe I'll come back in 9 years and see how my views have changed.

I'm in year 10. My views are pretty much how you've outlined here. Some differences based on my $ENTERPRISE vs yours, but overall not a wide gap.

And I wouldn't say that's necessarily a bad thing. Once you've adapted and realize where to look for who and what and how to prioritize and estimate your time, you're pretty set. Company succeeds and you succeed.

Good luck, OP!

fergie - 3 days ago

This article was worth it purely for "Schrödinger's urgency"

Aeolun - 4 days ago

Yeah, point for point this sounds like exactly the enteprise I find myself in.

I think the difference is that different engineering team empires always push us to use their stuff, which then inevitably ends up being garbage.

pavel_lishin - 3 days ago

> Getting paid on time.

It's incredible how starting a family and hitting your 40s moves this bullet point to somewhere near the very top of priorities for work. For all the complaints I've had about work over the past few years, I always finish it with: "But the paychecks don't bounce."

i_love_retros - 4 days ago

Also if your preferred method of non urgent communication is message based such as slack, good luck in an enterprise.

Sure you'll get messages, but every one will be "quick call?"

alerter - 3 days ago

I moved from startup to enterprise a couple of years ago. I never realised a job could be simultaneously so easy, while also being so frustrating.

It feels like there's very little commercial or technical juice, and very low standards. Frankly this became even more noticeable after the last wave of offshoring.

The "cloud sales" & "enterprise architecture" nexus has got a lot to answer for as well. There's an entire parallel ecosystem of people whose job is purely to sound impressive to non-technical stakeholders and then funnel money to AWS. Currently these guys are busy rebranding as "agentic systems" experts, just like they went from being OOP to microservices experts in the 2010s.

jongjong - 3 days ago

>> ... culture shock trying to reconcile the scale of the monetary waste ... Your entire retirement fund spunked in two weeks on a project that was doomed to fail from the offset.

I can very much relate to this point. I once worked for a company which spent more each month than I could save in my entire career... And they basically did absolutely nothing with it... The same company offered me a 2% raise while saying that I was their top engineer and that me threatening to quit was akin to "holding a knife at the company's throat". I followed through on the threat, the company is still fine, still spending over $1 million per month, still achieving nothing... Meanwhile, I've been desperate to do my own startup ever since, built stuff that would put their puny systems to shame... and yet I never managed to earn above $1000 per month from my own projects.

>> Generational wealth being funnelled directly to Bezos's mega-yacht via AWS

My wife made a similar joke when she saw my recent AWS bill though it was about our contribution to Bezos' wife's massive diamond ring. My wife then said "We can't even afford to do my fillers" to which I responded "Meanwhile, she can afford so much fillers, there's barely any space left for her meat."

Then my wife laughed and said "You're funny, that's why I married you."

Just kidding, she laughed and said "You loser, when are you going to shut your mouth and start earning money?"

- 4 days ago
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arrakark - 4 days ago

Love it. Describes my new job at $ENTERPRISE very well.

mberning - 4 days ago

If you work at a real enterprise that actually takes security seriously I can assure you a large portion of it is not theater. You will find this out when they come knocking and point out something boneheaded that happened on your watch. I once had an intern that mistakenly committed a non-prod credential into source control. They realized their mistake and replaced it with a token. But not before it had triggered some infosec alert and they blasted me with a stern “ACTION REQUIRED” email. I also had people on my team get snagged by simulated phishing emails and other such things which are run constantly.

juleska - 3 days ago

I've worked in technology for 20 years, and at least 15 of those have been inside large enterprises. In my experience, technological innovation is almost nonexistent in these environments. Most people in enterprise IT are not deeply connected to technology itself — many come from unrelated areas, grew into roles without genuine interest in the craft, or were absorbed into the system through inertia. The result is a cycle of delays, low standards of software development, and a near-total disregard for quality and maintainability.

On top of that, the consultancy model dominates: endless "transformative" projects, pitched with buzzwords, costing upwards of $300,000 per month for an "agile squad" — usually 5–6 junior or mid-level developers rebranded as "senior." Value delivery is irrelevant because another part of the enterprise machine is dedicated to "protecting" budgets, ensuring they don't shrink year over year, and inflating headcount so managers can parade the size of their teams.

This creates the elephant-in-the-room effect: organizations that are slow, rigid, and performative rather than adaptive. In more than one company I've worked at, it was rare to find someone on a technology team who could even write a simple SQL query. But they were experts in "agility," microservices, and "scalability" — all while serving theie super systems/projetcs with a super number of 8 daily users and a mess of integrations with SAP, Salesforce, or whatever the enterprise flavor of the month happened to be.

With that I can say, it's frustrating, it's messy,full of political interactions, but it pays the bills, but it's still shit, maybe you decorate it a little here or there, but in the end it's just decorated shit.

jauntywundrkind - 3 days ago

It's just so so sad that the cost of living is so high, that it's so hard and sooo risky to strike off on your own & to try to get stuff started.

How the world has captured so much potential, such an amazing era, and lashed it to this middling servitude is so sad. But it feels so impossible to try to begin better, the odds so stacked against us, the society about us so cowed and so FUD'ed up against "socialism" as to be unwilling to do anything to improve access to health care child care housing food and utilities. All ventures made available to the already wealthy.

Fuck enterprises, and worse, fuck this too scared world for being propagandized into cowardice that obstructs human spirit from being able to make a real go at better.

danielkweber - 3 days ago

“The menu is not the meal” - what a great spin on “the map is not the territory”.

curtisszmania - 3 days ago

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pinoy420 - 4 days ago

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nabilss - 4 days ago

[flagged]

Davidon4 - 4 days ago

Happy for you man!

almostgotcaught - 4 days ago

I think people have these kinds of thoughts (and then commit them to paper) because they're utterly flabbergasted that such things can exist - as if there's some kind of massive conspiracy by Big Enterprise that enables this even though both $ENTERPRISE and SMEs play in the exact same market (by definition).

Newsflash: yes small organizations are better solving small problems (like "small tool has broken feature X"). Everyone knows that and feels it "on their skin". But they cannot solve large/enormous problems. It's just physics: big problems -> big requirements. Think stuff along the lines of "getting to the moon" or "building the Chunnel". Myopic individuals, who are bound to only see and understand work within their own vicinity, necessarily will bemoan the existence of large organizations. This is why reading history is valuable - because it is indeed myopic.